The Various Stages of Nearly Being in a Relationship

A post, by Amber: a gal who is so done with this aspect of 21st-century living. Take me back to the days of courtship, please. Now.

1. Talking. But basic talking about the weather and each other's lives. You're just friends at the moment, and when you say that, you're not even lying!

2. 'Talking'. So now you're... talking. Yep, you've reached the monumental stage two!

3. Tell your friends you're talking, talking. Stage two felt a little early, but this feels like a good time to drop this person's name into a suitable conversation.

4. You've probably had dinner together by now at least a few times. Not that you're dating or anything.

5. Tagging-each-other-in-memes talking. Wow, don't get too ahead of yourself, you're not possibly dating yet! You've just moved from the land of words to the land of GIFs and 'Type @X and the first name that pops up...'. Have fun, you crazy kids.

6. You're Face-Timing all the time, or each other's number 1 Snapchat best friend, so you know they're not 'talking', talking to anyone else, but you're *not in a relationship*. You know this because...

7. 'But you're together, right?' says the friend who is blissfully committed to their S/O (and knows it!). You die a little inside and decide you must have The Chat soon.

8. The Chat is a) a massive failure and you come away slightly reassured by the fact that the other member is not talking to anyone else, or married, but you're still not technically bells-and-whistles xfriend/xfriend. Or b), it's all quite chilled and you're now Exclusive.

9. At some point you go to an event or occasion where it is Simply Untrue for you to be 'just a friend' so you then reach the glorious, dignified status of 'someone I'm seeing'. As if that doesn't sound like they kind of hate you, but in a lowkey way, because god forbid there are actual feelings involved.

10. You've probably had sex, met each other's families and spent a holiday together but you're still just SEEING EACH OTHER. duh.

11. Maybe you'll get married soon, maybe you won't. Those are the delightful perks of not being *in a relationship*.


(But in all seriousness, this is probably v toxic, although many of us go through it. If you're looking to be with someone and they just aren't in that 'headspace' or 'the timing isn't right', put yourself first and evaluate if it's worth it <3)